Post by Jamie on May 10, 2009 13:23:10 GMT -5
Great Minds Think of Mom
After a long, exhausting day, a friend of mine headed home. On the road, he passed an elderly woman who was standing by a car with a flat tire. His conscience got the better of him; if that were his mother, he thought, he would want someone to help her. With a tired sigh, he turned around and drove back.
Just as he reached the stranded woman, a truck pulled up and a burly farmer got out. "Kinda reminds you of your mom, too?" the man asked as the two of them pitched in together to change the tire.
-- Contributed by Katherine L. Houge
Your Biggest Fan
While waiting in a bookstore for a guest author to sign her latest book, I leafed through some of the Civil War novels she had written. The woman in line behind me commented, "Those are the best books I've ever read. I couldn't put them down."
Before I could reply, the author looked over and said, "Oh, cut it out, Mom!"
-- Contributed by Marilyn Kopp
DIY, but Mom's Way
While assembling furniture, my friend Debbie asked her roommate's five-year-old son to bring her a screwdriver.
"Do you want a 'Daddy' screwdriver or a 'Mommy' screwdriver?" the little boy asked.
Confused but preoccupied, Debbie absentmindedly said, "Bring me a 'Mommy' screwdriver."
The child came back and handed her a butter knife.
-- Contributed by Cori Cole
Head of the Household
My husband, Jeff, and I incurred several problems while assembling our new computer system, so we called the help desk. The man on the phone started to talk to Jeff in computer jargon, which confused us even more.
"Sir," my husband politely said, "please explain what I should do as if I were a four-year-old."
"Okay," the computer technician replied. "Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?"
-- Contributed by Lena Worth
Surprise Greeting
As a working mother with an office in my home, I pride myself on maintaining a professional image. One key to that image is my answering-machine greeting, which is often the first contact clients have with me. I worked on making it sound upbeat and enthusiastic, and thought I had succeeded until a friend left this message: "Judy, this is Pam. I love your greeting, but do you know that you can hear your little boy in the background saying, 'Mommy, I gotta go potty'?"
-- Contributed by Judy Gaskill
Wonder Chef
To help a busy mother get away for a two-week vacation, my sister agreed to stay with the woman's three children. On the first evening, she cooked one of their favorite meals. To the youngsters' delight, dinner after dinner, she "guessed" what they liked. When my sister returned home, we asked her what the secret of her success was. "Each afternoon I would flip through the cookbook until I found a page that was ripped, smudged and food-splattered," she explained. "Then I would make that recipe. It worked every time!"
-- Contributed by Julie Holling
Peace and Quiet
Aunt Karen is the mother of two high-spirited young girls. When I called her one morning, our conversation was constantly interrupted by the din of kids screaming and chasing each other. "Could you hold on for a moment?" my aunt finally asked, putting down the phone.
Within ten seconds all I could hear was absolute silence. Then, "Okay, I'm back."
"But it's so quiet!" I exclaimed. "You must have complete control over those two."
"Not really," my aunt confessed wearily. "I'm in the closet."
-- Contributed by Steve Brundage
Mom's Where
One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Brian noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?"
I've always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, Brian," I said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other."
Brian nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime. Then he burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"
-- Contributed by Kenneth W. Holmes
After a long, exhausting day, a friend of mine headed home. On the road, he passed an elderly woman who was standing by a car with a flat tire. His conscience got the better of him; if that were his mother, he thought, he would want someone to help her. With a tired sigh, he turned around and drove back.
Just as he reached the stranded woman, a truck pulled up and a burly farmer got out. "Kinda reminds you of your mom, too?" the man asked as the two of them pitched in together to change the tire.
-- Contributed by Katherine L. Houge
Your Biggest Fan
While waiting in a bookstore for a guest author to sign her latest book, I leafed through some of the Civil War novels she had written. The woman in line behind me commented, "Those are the best books I've ever read. I couldn't put them down."
Before I could reply, the author looked over and said, "Oh, cut it out, Mom!"
-- Contributed by Marilyn Kopp
DIY, but Mom's Way
While assembling furniture, my friend Debbie asked her roommate's five-year-old son to bring her a screwdriver.
"Do you want a 'Daddy' screwdriver or a 'Mommy' screwdriver?" the little boy asked.
Confused but preoccupied, Debbie absentmindedly said, "Bring me a 'Mommy' screwdriver."
The child came back and handed her a butter knife.
-- Contributed by Cori Cole
Head of the Household
My husband, Jeff, and I incurred several problems while assembling our new computer system, so we called the help desk. The man on the phone started to talk to Jeff in computer jargon, which confused us even more.
"Sir," my husband politely said, "please explain what I should do as if I were a four-year-old."
"Okay," the computer technician replied. "Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?"
-- Contributed by Lena Worth
Surprise Greeting
As a working mother with an office in my home, I pride myself on maintaining a professional image. One key to that image is my answering-machine greeting, which is often the first contact clients have with me. I worked on making it sound upbeat and enthusiastic, and thought I had succeeded until a friend left this message: "Judy, this is Pam. I love your greeting, but do you know that you can hear your little boy in the background saying, 'Mommy, I gotta go potty'?"
-- Contributed by Judy Gaskill
Wonder Chef
To help a busy mother get away for a two-week vacation, my sister agreed to stay with the woman's three children. On the first evening, she cooked one of their favorite meals. To the youngsters' delight, dinner after dinner, she "guessed" what they liked. When my sister returned home, we asked her what the secret of her success was. "Each afternoon I would flip through the cookbook until I found a page that was ripped, smudged and food-splattered," she explained. "Then I would make that recipe. It worked every time!"
-- Contributed by Julie Holling
Peace and Quiet
Aunt Karen is the mother of two high-spirited young girls. When I called her one morning, our conversation was constantly interrupted by the din of kids screaming and chasing each other. "Could you hold on for a moment?" my aunt finally asked, putting down the phone.
Within ten seconds all I could hear was absolute silence. Then, "Okay, I'm back."
"But it's so quiet!" I exclaimed. "You must have complete control over those two."
"Not really," my aunt confessed wearily. "I'm in the closet."
-- Contributed by Steve Brundage
Mom's Where
One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Brian noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?"
I've always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, Brian," I said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other."
Brian nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime. Then he burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"
-- Contributed by Kenneth W. Holmes
